The biggest room for improvement? My father theory.

Fathers, whether we accept it or not, play a great part of our lives. Now notice that I said great. It could be greatly good or bad.

I sent a fathers’ day wish to a friend and he responded with a sigh of sadness. NB: He isn’t a dad. I tried to convince him that there’s room for improvement to which he said a big room at that.

Most children have grown up always judging their fathers for several things including neglect, irresponsibility and recklessly bringing up their kids. Now depending on your family, the story may be different. Children find it hard understanding all that happens in the adult and often take things at face value such as neglection due to work responsibilities, etc.

This isn’t to say all fathers can be excused of what they do. But rather, that there should be communication. If dads communicate more with their children, much of this can be made understandable for children.

That said, I also believe as statistics also support, the absence of fathers or mistakes of fathers affect children to the core in very subtle ways.

Much of this could be said about moms too. Moms are a foundational part of our development process and they also need to communicate with children more.

Mothers day receives a lot of attention as compared with fathers day. Society collectively thinks moms do a better job than dads. That, I am not here to dispute.

But what would fathers become if and when we see them as what they should be instead of what they currently are? Sometimes we put people in boxes of prophecies which end up becoming self fulfilling ones. What if we chose to love them regardless? They may have caused us pain, setback or lifelong distress. As much as those are painful, letting go and forgiving will go a long way to help ourselves and hell create a better world.

What we hold back, unforgiving what should be, affects the way we end up relating to others. Therefore, what we hated about our fathers end up being taught our own kids and the cycle continues. Just what if you choose forgiveness to bitterness and teach that to your own kids as a daughter or son?

I believe this is how we as a society can begin to change the narrative. It isn’t about was was or what is but what could be and should be.

Think about it!

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